


In the Shadows

by heelsclacks



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Closeted Character, Drabble, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, POV First Person, PegoRyu Week Day 6, Pegoryu Week, Pegoryu Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:21:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25932790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heelsclacks/pseuds/heelsclacks
Summary: You and I have always been in the shadows. Always. That's why, please, don't blame yourself over a little wound from these Shadows.Part of PegoRyu Week Day 6: Shadows
Relationships: Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	In the Shadows

It has always been the darkness with you, hasn't it?

The cold, covered place, it really suits you. Behind closed doors, in the dark alleys, in the middle of an empty room. You always hide yourself, waiting for a chance to ambush anyone who dares to stand in your way and to not stand in anyone's way. No one knows what you're doing in there, and you're always fine with it. You've always been, so why?

Why now?

"I'm sorry."

You say, with doubt in your eyes. I can see your guilt and regret settling in, you know. It's no use using those masks to hide anymore.

"It's not your fault."

Your face is as beautiful as ever and to caress it like this... I could only dream of it before. You're soft, just like your heart, and your hair puts on an emphasis on that. It's so fluffy I swear I could fall asleep on your head. That pair of gray eyes has never looked this sorry. You've lost your glint, Dear, don't be like this.

"C'mon!"

Hesitation has made itself apparent on your face, but you come, nonetheless. I welcome you with my open arms, and you accept it. It has always been this way. It has always been, your warm body leaning onto me while I run my fingers through your soft black locks. It has always been here, too, beneath everyone's eyes, behind everyone's back, somewhere not found by anyone. The Wheel of Fate turns in cruelty every now and then, but it wrenches my heart whenever you're the one affected.

"I'll make sure we can hug it out in front of everyone one day," you whisper to me, but I know how hard you blame yourself, "For now... I'm sorry for always bringing you out here for our dates."

"Akira," I say, releasing my hug to cup your face in my hands. I can see it, as vivid as the blue sky during a sunny day, how tears almost well up in your eyes. How stubborn you are to not let them all fall while you're on my shoulders and in my embrace. You're so strong. Too strong, in fact, that you're hurting yourself, "It ain't your fault, 'kay? As long as I could be here with you, I'm fine!"

It seems my words are the last cannonball to penetrate your iron defense, huh, Dear? Your lips are shaking and tears are starting to make their way down your cheeks, you know. What are you holding your screams for? Your teeth won't hold out if you keep your jaw tense like that.

"One day, 'Kira," I move a strand of hair from your beautiful face, "It's fine! I'm alive now, and that's all that matters, right?"

 _Or not_. Of course, I was scared, but...

"You were there for me. If you didn't use that healing magic immediately, I'll prolly be a goner by now. It's fine, it's not your fault that we have to date in these Safe Rooms. We're not ready, after all."

Your shoulders start to tremble, as well. You clench your fists tight, trying to hold it all in again, to no avail. Using your sleeve, you wipe your tears, and once again, I open my arms, inviting you to a semblance of solace. Out of my expectations, you practically slam yourself onto me before letting it all out on my shoulders, muffling your screams and wails. I can feel your whole body now trembling while your hands are on my bare back. You and I both know how the wounds I suffered have been healed and how my clothes are going to fix itself, yet here you are, blaming yourself over something you can't control.

"I'll," you start again, "I'll protect you, Ryuji... th-then... we can be–" a sniffle interrupts your sentence, "–to-together, everywhere."

Another muffled and tearful scream comes from you, tearing my heart apart in the process. I could do nothing but hugging you back, "Don't sweat it, man."

Yes, don't think about it. It's not your fault... and I'm used to this. Although, one day... those words do give me hope. One day, we can love each other without endangering ourselves like this. Someday, somewhere, we will find our freedom. But for now, I'll enjoy what we have for ourselves in the shadows.

So please, don't blame yourself, okay?

**Author's Note:**

> i was. stuck. and this is all i could come up with:(


End file.
